A day in the life of TFA Institute

I am so sorry that I have been neglecting my blog. I hope over the next few days, I will be able to catch up on the past 6 weeks of my life..... Well, just a few parts at least.

They don’t really warn you about what institute is going to be like. You can read the TFA blogs, ask former corps members, or look at the information on the website, but it doesn’t do it justice at all. Training was the most miserable thing I have ever done in my whole life. However, it was also one of the most rewarding things.

A typical day looked like this:

5 am- wake up (sometimes earlier :/)

5:30 am- breakfast

5:50 am- get in the lunch line

6:00 am- load up on the bus (Nobody could compare to our wonderful bus driver Leon)

7:00 am- arrive at Gentry High in Indianola, MS

7:00- 7:30 am- set up time in the classroom

7:30-8:00 am- morning duty

8:00-9:30 am- My collab and I taught math

9:30- 10:45 am- Academic Intervention Time (We worked in groups with the kids to do remedial math and review of learned skills)

10:45- 12:30 pm- CS session (These could be on management, planning, diversity, etc.)

12:30- 1:00 pm– Bus Duty (I was called the ‘sign lady’ because I always had to hold all the signs)

1:00-4:30 pm- Professional Development Time (CS sessions, CMA sessions, differentiate sessions, training, planning, FA meetings, CMA meetings, I could go on and on and on)

4:30 pm- Load up the bus to return to Cleveland, MS

5:30 pm- Arrive at Delta State University

5:35 pm- Breathe

6:00 pm- Dinner

6:30 pm to Bedtime-- Lesson Planning, group meetings, other assignments, print off documents, prepare for the next day, calling parents, mini-lessons, skype with my friends :)

My days were filled with teaching, learning about teaching, closing the achievement gap, diversity, CMA, FA, CS, TFA, TAL academic impact model… (Have you realized we have an acronym for everything), tasks, more tasks, typing on my computer, editing, rough drafts, e-mails, grading, OSAT, teacher conversations, eating pizza and salad, going to Hey Joe’s, teaching friends….. I could go on and on.

Confession: sometimes I wondered where Jesus fit into my schedule. Sometimes, even though I don’t want to admit it, I didn’t ever let Jesus fit into my schedule. I learned all this information about teaching. So many of my conversations with people revolved around what had happened that teaching day. Yet, there were far too many times when I chose to let my job run my day rather than Jesus.

I wonder how in college I ever said I was busy because this schedule was 50 times worse than one day of college. I love routine. In fact, I crave it. There is something nice to me about waking up and knowing exactly what I will be doing that day. Each day was different, but somehow each day was consistent. I knew what to expect for the most part. I only wish that there were times when I didn’t just have the expectation to wake up, get ready, eat, teach, learn, plan, eat, sleep, but rather I had the expectation that Jesus was going to move in, around, over, underneath my schedule. I think that would be special. I think that would move me. I think it would move others. If Jesus were not just a PART of the schedule, but Jesus was the schedule.

Top Ten Memories of the Past 4 Years

1-- Road Trips-- It’s kind of amusing that some of my favorite times at Texas Tech were when I wasn’t in Lubbock. Road trips are what made college for me. My favorites were probably all the football games I went to. In Tech’s famous season of 2009, I attended 10 out of the 12 games that year. Going to University of Kansas in a 12 passenger van with manly Ryan Lacy in the front seat and wild Madison Proctor, amped off 5 hour energy, was one of the most entertaining things I have seen in my whole life. Needless to say, trips to Oklahoma, A&M, New Mexico, Kansas, Dallas, Colorado, San Antonio, and many other places have some of my very fondest memories in them.

2-- Foundation Director-- Let’s get serious, I love Foundation! I honestly don’t know how to sum up the experience in words. One of the best things was getting to be partners with Madison Proctor. He taught me so much about working together and loving one another while doing it. I was so blessed to have such an incredible partner, leadership team, and staff. Foundation consumed my every thought for a good 8 months. When I wasn’t racking my brain with to-do lists and ideas, I was literally having dreams about Foundation. The best part of camp was just seeing how the Lord was so much more worried about Foundation than me or Madison ever could have been. He was so faithful and brought everything to completion for camp. Just FYI: Don’t ever let the band have access to the golf cart…..

3-- #SuckitSantaFe-- I decided to go on this trip 24 hours before the trip with IABC started. Best. Decision. Of. My. Life. Seriously! Even though I never ever want to go back to the horrific place of Santa Fe, the people I went with were amazing. It is because of this trip that I have been able to make lifelong friends. Also, I have not laughed that hard in my life. I mean come on, get Brandon Clark, Dusty Joplin, and Patric Johnston in a room together and the good times start rolling. Stephanie, Alexandra, Shley, and my sweet Claire are girls that I love with all my heart. The only bad part about this trip is that it came with two months left of my senior year. I wish I had four more years to spend with all these people. 

4-- Wesley Foundation-- I could write a novel about this place. It has been my community and my family these past four years at Tech. I am beyond thankful for the countless retreats, Undergrounds, small groups, meetings with Annette, hang outs with best friends, and for being the place I go home to every night. I have seen Jesus be totes awesome because of so many of the people I know from the Wesley.

5-- Rwanda-- In the summer of 2009, I think 17 of us from the Welsey Foundation went across seas for 32 days to Rwanda. It was one of the most difficult yet rewarding times of my life. It was following a pretty hard and lonely spring semester. It was on this trip that I discovered that I was to be a missionary. No matter what I was doing… construction, preaching, evangelizing, playing spades, or playing with my sweet little `Onesie’, God was calling me to be used in any and all aspects of my life.

6-- Trinity Internship-- My freshman year of college prepared me to go back to Ruston and intern at my home church. It was by far one of the most fun and best summers ever. The reason I still have the friends I do in Ruston is because of the summer I was able to spend there. I had the best job ever.. Hanging out with youth and talking about Jesus. It was that summer that I felt the call into the ministry. I remember calling my Dad after the Lord has spoken some things to me and just crying because nothing in my flesh wanted to be in the ministry. But through a lot of things that happened, I could not deny or ignore the calling any longer.

7-- Ceta Canyon—My favorite summer pastime since I was practically born was going to Ceta Canyon One Way camp. It is the place I accepted Christ, and the place where huge spiritual growth happened. Being a camper was great, but I have been more than happy being a counselor since I have been at Tech! It is the best of both worlds for me because I get to enjoy my fellow Tech counselors and my Louisiana friends. Such a blessing to be able to grow in Christ at this camp with everyone. 

8-- Football Games-- Okay, so I love sports a lot, particularly Texas Tech football. I could spend hours with my brother and Bryce Thompson talking about who we think should be starting qb or the upcoming recruits we just signed. Most of the time, it is just me listening to their endless wisdom. If there was ever a favorite subject for me to study, it would be Texas Tech football. In fact, I am the one who pays for the Red Raider Sports account that all my friends use. I know those younger than me don’t like to hear us talk about the season of 2009, but it was seriously amazing. Raiderville, painting up, the 2009 UT game, rushing the field, bowl games, road trips to games, the Mike Leach era were all things that cannot be matched. 

9-- Red River-- I have been to Red River twice in college career. The first time, my freshman roommate, Rachel Cline, and I decided to go with a group, two hours before they left. We went and spent the weekend at Zack Esgar’s cabin. His mom told the scariest ghost stories. I will never forget Rachel wanting to sleep with me because she was so scared, but I told her no. She was not a happy camper. This was also the weekend that I learned how to play Mexican Train dominoes. This past year, we went to Madison Proctor’s cabin. Such a great weekend of friends, food, the game of things, snowball fights, and fellowship.

10-- Visits from my Ruston friends— One of my favorite things is having all of my Louisiana friends come and visit me. Whether it was a boring or super exciting weekend, we always found a way to make it fun. Reid, John, and Chase even got to see the UT game. Memories like Chicken Express (Ashley, Anna Claire, and Caroline) are things I never fail to laugh at. I am so thankful for about 20 or so of my friends making the 9 hour drive to come see me (or talk to their cute friends from camp, whichever you prefer). Love y’all!

11-- Okay, I had to add one more. My preschool best friend and now roommate for the past three years, Maggie, is like a memory in and of itself. Living with her has been so exciting! We laugh entirely too much and cry entirely too often. She is my kindred spirit. Live a day in our apartment and all of you would think we were a little cray cray. So thanks Maggie for all the laughs, facebooking across the room, study time (yeah right!), and adventures.

12-- To all of my friends: I refuse to name you all because I know that I would leave someone out on accident. From freshman to already graduates, I love each and every one of you for the unforgettable memories. (Insert favorite memory here) *laughing* 

Let it Rain!

Let me just say that, God is crazy good. And when I say crazy, I literally mean crazy, wild, and unexpected. It is amazing the ways that the Lord can speak.

This past week, I was able to attend a worship service with a dear friend, Alexandra Nanny. I know this post is long, but honestly, I could have written 10 pages. My words do not do justice to the way that Jesus has been moving.

Just to set this all up… I became `real’ friends with Alexandra over spring break (#suckitsantafe). Every time I get the opportunity to be around her, there is a light that radiates from her, outside and in. A few weeks ago, I had a graduation party. I had just gotten done with school that day and life was really catching up to me. My heart was heavy about past mistakes, present situations, and future endeavors. I felt lost/stuck, and I wasn’t really listening to the Lord at all. It was at this party where I was able to experience love and support from so many of my friends and family, including Alexandra. I remember Al, in such a loving way, just calling attention to my heavy heart. Little did I know, that the Lord was about to change all of that through encouraging notes (Dusty and Claire), friend time, and most of all, Jesus time. It took something as simple as just realizing the brokenness that was going on inside of me, to begin to let the Lord heal my heart. Over the next two weeks, as Jesus continued to pursue me, I allowed his grace to flood over me. His grace met me where I was, but didn’t leave me there. His grace took me and is still taking me to where I need to be. My whole attitude about life changed. My whole attitude about people changed. My whole attitude about Jesus changed. 

Fast forward to last Thursday. Alexandra invited me to attend what we thought was Jesus Culture and Josh Hamilton. Naturally, I was super excited to spend time with Al and to see this awesome concert. So we drove two hours to Amarillo to a little church called Messiah’s House, only to find out that it was actually a guy named Jake Hamilton who had opened for Jesus Culture before. Not what we expected at all! However, God seems to always blow our expectations out of the water. He is pretty cool like that. On the car ride up there, Alexandra and I talked about everything under the moon, but mostly about Jesus and life. It was nice to be able to be real with someone. That night at the Jake Hamilton concert, we got some warfare worship music with loud electric guitars, and lyrics such as, “He’s a good good Daddy!” Cheesy? Seems like it would be, but the spirit was so thick, it did not matter. The church we were at was flying flags, dancing, and worshipping unashamed. After our time of singing, Jake Hamilton took the microphone and began to share lots and lots. I wish I could write everything that he said, because it was truly God given words of truth and encouragement. The whole time he was talking, I was in disbelief because he was literally talking about EVERYTHING Alexandra and I had discussed in the car ride up there. Everything he said lined up with all the things that the Lord was talking to us about. After he shared, the congregation prayed decelerations of what the Lord was going to do. Then, we got to see the Holy Spirit live in action as people were being prophesied over and slain in the Spirit.

The night affirmed all that God was up to in our lives. It was a divine appointment from a mighty God. Come to find out, while the Lord was working on my heart these past few weeks, Alexandra had been praying and fasting. In Isaiah 58, we read about the results of true fasting. Because of the people’s prayers and fasts, the Lord redeems them. Because of Al’s faithfulness to the Lord and her prayers for me, the Lord was pressing in to me and working on my heart. That Thursday morning, Alexandra read Isaiah 61. Three chapters after the prayers and fasting, we see that the Lord takes His redeemed people and they are now able to be used for His work and His will. Alexandra shared this verse with me, and I thought it was so fitting. Isaiah 61 even happened to be the same passage that Messiah’s House focus verse is. I am His. I declare that my life is His. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes we are like grapes being crushed so we can be made into wine. Jesus is a Redeemer. I am beyond thankful for Alexandra’s willingness to listen to the Lord. She has showed me what a true sister in Christ is and what it means to seek Him. This crazy Thursday night turned into a huge blessing! God is so so so good. He speaks.

Song of the week: The Redeemer by Sanctus Reel

My flesh may fail, but my God you never will!

"Because it´s only when you´re tested that you truly discover who you are. And it´s only when you´re tested that you discover who you can be. The person that you want to be does exist, somewhere in the other side of hard work and faith, and belief and beyond the HEARTACHE and fear of what life has."

This semester, I have been learning what it means for our God to be an EVERYDAY God.  Whenever I hear the word every day, I think of Aaron Bevers saying, “All day err day!” Makes me giggle. Anyways, this has been the simplest yet most radical thing that I think I have ever learned in my faith. As Christians, so often, we can quote some scripture, debate theology, or plan some big event with a big band for Jesus’ name to be proclaimed. While these things may not be bad, I think it can be troublesome if we forget that we have a God who is not just in the churchy stuff, but we have a God who sits with us in our classes, basketball games, movie nights, restaurants, etc. It is a constant battle between our flesh and His spirit. What does it mean for His spirit to be living and active in our lives? The answer is the fruits of the SPIRIT: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Living a life for Christ means living a life of the Spirit. It is this very Spirit which guides and directs our thoughts and actions. Imagine what our days would look like if the fruits of the Spirit were the things that we embraced each day. You see God is either Lord of ALL or he is not Lord at all. He wants us `all day err day’. Texas Tech, do you want to know how to start a revival? Start living in the Spirit. Sure have your worship services, bible studies, etc. Those things are all good and such… However, let us not forget that we have a God who is not just in the great/big times or the not so great/tragic times, but we have a God who is over, under, everywhere, and in between. When our flesh is threatening to seep out, remember that we must die to ourselves each day. Romans 6:6 says, “For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin.” Our flesh, our sin, died with Christ so that we may LIVE with Him! His Spirit is alive in us. Our God is living and active. Who has your heart today? What has control of your actions? Is it selfishness, lust, and pride, or is it love, joy, and patience? Jesus already put our flesh to death when he died on the cross for our sins.

Okay, real talk…. It is funny how the Lord has been impressing this lesson upon me starting about three months ago, yet I feel as if I have been failing miserably at it ever since. So first and foremost, I want to just remember that I am not perfect. That is a hard one for me to comprehend, because if it were my choice, I would be perfect. Secondly, sometimes our sin/flesh does get the best of us. In 2^nd Corinthians 12:9, it states, “My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in your weakness.” Isn’t that cool? Living in the Spirit is not about what WE choose to do, but rather how the Lord sustains himself with grace in and through us. It is about how his Spirit overcomes places where our flesh is craving to be let out. Thirdly, we need to remember that we should not continue to sin just so His grace may increase.  When He forgives us, we are new creations; the old has gone and the new has come! Lastly, as his mercies are new for us each day, the EVERYDAY God himself is our only source of true strength. “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26